My Story

When many people see me, they wonder: “Why?” “You don’t look Korean.” “Your dress is beautiful, but why are you wearing it?” “What got you into Korean clothes?”

The short answer is that I got into it because of my daughter’s interest in K-Pop.

The mid-length answer is because after I had my second child, I went from a Size 0 to a Size 14, and my sense of body image was completely wrecked. For awhile, I wore equestrian clothes due to my second child being severely autistic, going to hippotherapy, and my admiration of all the cowgirls running the show. But…it wasn’t me. It was obvious it wasn’t me, and I was merely tolerated in the horse world, but not accepted.

Longer answer: It’s complicated, and it may make some uncomfortable, which is why I haven’t said too much about it. My son is severely Autistic. Like him, I am also on the spectrum, but for lack of a better term, I’m higher functioning. Like most people on the spectrum, especially girls and women, we are prone to sexual exploitation and abuse. From the age of 18 and into my late 20’s, I dealt with being sexually exploited by a lot of different people, and it stems from the culture of pornography. Back then, I did not know what that was, I just knew that this was not an acceptable form of sexual expression. It wasn’t until I read “Pornland,” by Gail Dines that it all came together. Because of what happened to me, I really don’t like the sexually exploitative content that exists in American television, and I don’t like our clothing style. Instead, I fell in love with the Hanbok, and later on the Hanfu, because it showed modesty without being frumpy. Both are also versatile enough to modernize and use for everyday wear. My self confidence has gone up, and I feel a lot better about myself because the focus isn’t on the sexualized parts of my body. The focus is on me as a whole person.